The Plot to Attack the United States, er Iran

Bad news America -- bad news world. Dick Cheney's thirty-year priopism for attacking Iran is closer than ever to coming to a climax. He wants this so bad, he can almost smell it with his lizard tongue.

Generally, it's more of the same from the Bush Crime Family and the Cheney neocon-men: we know Iran has nuclear intentions, we know they are supplying weapons and training to insurgents in Iraq, and we know they have designs on your teenage daughters. We have no tangible proof we can show you, but we have plenty of talking heads that will get up and make the unsubstantiated claim. Basically, trust us, would we lie to you?

And just like the run-up to the Iraq war, Administration officials are getting increasingly frustrated with sanctions and other UN methods for dealing with international conflict. So they are looking for some way to justify military action. Make no mistake, justification will be found. More like, justification will be manufactured -- this war is going to happen.

The terrible twosome have been steadily ramping up their anti-Iranian rhetoric for a couple of years now -- from painting Ahmendinajad as a nutball (takes one to know one), to accusations of providing the materials for IEDs, to empty UN resolutions, to hypocritical accusations of state-sanctioned terrorism, to constant lying about Iranian nuclear intentions, and even a super-groovy retro Gulf of Tonkin hoax -- with frustratingly (to them) little to show for it.



Just last month, President Bushmill got up in front of the country and the world and unashamedly claimed that Iran wants "a nuclear weapon to destroy people." Well, maybe he was a little ashamed, but only because the elite liberal press made such a stink out of it. Jeesh, John McCain gets to totter on about "bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran" and nobody bats an eye, but danged if those elitist liberal pinheads committed to defeat in this here war on terra don't get their drawers in a wad when the President says it.

Of course, it doesn't help when dumbshits in the intelligence community publish naive National Intelligence Estimates that contradict every hyperintuitive bone in Bushmill's one-dimensional world. Or when traitorous, disloyal bastards like General Erik Shinsheki and Admiral William Fallon refuse to be used as puppets in Boom-Boom Cheney's bloodthirsty theater of vain.

Earlier this month, Bushmill sent reliable Administration schills, General David "Betray us" Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan "What a crock" Crocker up to Congress to stall for more time on the Iraq issue. Never ones to pass up an opportunity to get a jump start on the next war, Bushmill and The Dick made sure to have Petraeus and Crocker lob Iranian fear bombs whenever possible. "They spoke of Tehran's 'nefarious activities,' its 'malign influence,' and how it posed 'the greatest long-term threat to the viability' of the Baghdad government."

Ever since pronouncing them as a founding member of the Axis of Evil, the Bushmill Administration has had Iran in their sights. The festering sores of Afghanistan and Iraq have kept their murderous passion to a slow burn, but with Dumbya's catastrophe nearing a hard stop in January 2009, it's go time.

Meet the new lies, same as the old lies. Now, just like they did with Iraq, Bushmill and Cheney are strategically positioning their game pieces in advance of the green light for War III: the Iranian Debacle. This week, Admiral Fallon dispatched the aircraft USS Abraham Lincoln -- you remember old honest Abe, right? -- to join the USS Harry Truman in menacing, er "reminding" Iran that as soon as the bloodthirsty cowards of the Bush Administration get their ducks in a row, it's their ass!



Also this week, Pentagon officials are trying to claim that Iran, a Shia state, is providing support for the Taliban, a devout Sunni organization. That'd be like what, Republican members of congress actually supporting legislation proposed by the Democrats? Yeah, right. Predictably, that bullshit has met with some skepticism from anybody with half a brain, but that ain't going to stop Bushmill and The Dick from their bloody ambition.

Public opinion has no relevance to the Bush/Cheney junta because they have no regard for the public. However, low public opinion does make it tougher to run roughshod over the country and the Constitution because it often leads to nagging questions about details (where are the WMD? where is Osama? Will we again be greeted as liberators? How much is this going to cost? Do you have any kind of plan for after the invasion? Do you have any actual evidence of anything?).

Despite the gaping holes in logic and common sense, Bushmill and The Dick still have their media enablers to help make the case for them.

And yet, still nothing. Daaaaamn. What does a corrupt, war-mongering, intentionally incompetent Administration have to do these days to gin up a fake war against a sovereign country that has done nothing to harm or threaten the United States? Oh for those heady post-9/11 days when all Bushmill had to do was hunch his shoulders and go "boo" and he'd have every legislator in the land falling all over themselves to get a piece of the wartime action.

Some like Mother Jones, Dan Froomkin, and Olivier Knox see the process but don't yet see the mechanism. What they need to realize is that the American public and even this weak-kneed Democratic congress won't back any attack on Iran based solely on Administration say-so. No amount of evidence or statements from military officials or hand-wringing or terra'-baiting can overcome this Administration's credibility gap. So how will they do it?

There is only one card left for Bushmill and The Dick to play, and it's the ace of spades: a massive domestic terrorist attack. Hell, it worked once before.

Think back a few years. Despite all the phonied-up evidence about WMD, would America have supported an invasion of Iraq based just on the warmongering of Bushmill and The Dick? Probably not. But supercharged with the emotion of an event like 9/11, and well, the American public will buy anything. So here we go again.

Stock up on your duct tape and plastic sheets Bay Area, because President Bushmill and The Dick have a shitstorm headed your way.

At the danger of being framed by the NSA as a patsy for Bushmill and The Dick's craven plan or winding up an unfortunate "suicide," based on close observation of the right-wing sound machine and a nasty gut feeling, Page A-26 fears the following:

• There will be a large-scale terrorist attack in the United States this year. Like 9/11, it will be an inside job intended to frighten the American public and American politicians into such a frenzied state of panic that they will agree to anything Cheney's neocon-men want. Fox's pompous pompadour John "Kim Il-Jung stole my hair" Gibson has already acknowledged as much on live TV. (When we say "inside job," we don't necessarily mean that American agents actually carried out every detail of the attack. We mean that there was some direct assistance from US operatives, there was some intentional negligence, and there was some strategic inaction -- all designed to "allow" such an attack to occur.)
  
• It will target a major US city. Bill O'Reilly already let slip that the lunatic fringe would be more than willing to sacrifice the other "blue" capital of the country, San Francisco. It will target an iconic yet low-population-density target in the Bay Area such as Coit Tower (O'Reilly's suggestion), Alcatraz, or the Golden Gate Bridge. For maximum effect on morale, we suspect it will be the Golden Gate Bridge -- think of the anti-Olympic flame protest there in April as a test run on the bridge's security.
  
• It will involve a "dirty bomb" in order to substantiate both the Administration's scare tactic of a nuclear Iran and the necessity of the so-called War on Terror.
• It will occur this summer, most likely after the Democratic National Convention in late August and before the Republican National Convention in early September. Such timing will give McCain the Main Stream Media's (MSM) undivided attention and effectively put him in the middle of the action, compared to the Democratic nominee who will have no access to the decision-making process or the associated spotlight.
• As with 9/11, immediate and irrefutable "evidence" will surface linking the attack to Iran, most likely the elite Al-Quds brigade, which despite being a unit of the Iranian military, is still somehow considered a terrorist organization.
  
• Suspects in the attack will be quickly identified, almost too quickly, but we will soon learn that they were either killed in the blast or have somehow already left the country. Dead (and make-believe) men tell no tales, right, so no use looking for anybody.
• As with 9/11, the boisterous choir of jingoistic vitriol from the right-wing sound machine will make any quest for the truth not only impossible, but treacherously unpatriotic.
• And like 9/11, there will be an immediate flood of emergency wartime legislation designed to give Bush and his Republican successor free rein to act unilaterally in response.
  

Such an incident will accomplish the following for the Bush/Cheney neocon-men and their corporate collaborators.

• It will ensure the election of a Republican president in 2008.
• It will fulfill Cheney's 30-year boner for revenge on Iran.
• It will open up the Iranian oil fields for corporate plunder.
• It will further enable the neocon-men's dream of a "democratic" Middle East by making it possible for the US to establish yet another puppet regime in the region.
  
• It will further expand US military presence in the Middle East.
• It will take all public and MSM attention away from all the other crimes and constitutional depravities of the Bush Administration.
• It will continue indefinitely the plunder of the US Treasury by the Bush Crime Family's profiteering cronies in the military/industrial complex.
  

So there it is. Unless the Democrats in Congress grow a sac or the American people pull their heads out of their jingo-holes, we will have ourselves another unprovoked invasion of a sovereign Middle Eastern country and another interminable war for profit and pride.

As Bushmill and The Dick tried to tell us before they invaded Iraq, we cannot wait to attack because the final proof could come in the form of a mushroom cloud. So for War #3, they are going to combine the last two steps in the run-up to this new fake war: a mushroom cloud to prove their point.

Heads-up America, the writing is on the wall.

The Band-Aid Analogy

In a speech yesterday to the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Kansas City, President Bushmill had the gaul to compare Iraq to Vietnam in an effort to attack critics of his war. It would be laughable if so many people weren't dying because of this idiot.

Basically the entire Bush Crime Family and Cheney neocon-men argument for staying in Iraq boils down to this: if we leave, things are going to get worse.

And you know what? For once, they are right about something. Of course things are going to get worse -- at first. If and when the United States leaves, there will be a vacumn of military power and control, and chaotic violence will follow as various competing groups grapple to fill the vacumn.

Relatively quickly, however, a pecking order of power will be established, and once that happens, the violence will start to subside. Al Queda will be rooted out by sectarian forces and then those sectarian forces will claim and clean out their own cities and territories, and probably within two years, Iraq will have reached a point of functioning equilibrium. Just like Vietnam did.

Here's the simplest analogy Page A-26 can provide:

Getting out of Iraq is going to be like pulling a band-aid off of an open wound: you can pull it off slow, or you can rip it off fast. Either way it's going to hurt, but if you rip it off fast, the pain is over in an instant and the process of feeling better can begin immediately. If you pull it off slow, it draws out the pain and often makes a huge, bloody mess. If you leave it on indefinitely, the wound festers and gets worse.

The bottom line is that Bushmill and his lying enablers are simply trying to confuse and bully the American public into believing that the surge and Bush's larger Iraq strategy are working. In 2004, when Ted Kennedy likened the Iraq conflict to Vietnam -- and not in a good way like Bushmill sees it -- the Bush Crime Family and Cheney neocon-men were appauled that Kennedy would dare invoke the haunting specter of Vietnam.

It really is hard to keep up with these immoral, lying bastards, but we have to keep trying. Otherwise, they will completely rewrite history with their disgusting, distorted views.

Dem Guns, Dem Guns

It's almost as if Page A-26 had been a fly on the wall when Dick "the Dick" Cheney, Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove, Tony Snowjob, Ken "Ferret Face" Mehlman, and the right honorable and in no way subjective General David Petraeus were deciding which cover story to use and how to spin the press about the missing guns in Iraq. Page A-26 guessed it would be pinned on a hapless supply sergeant in Kuwait -- and Petraeus' fall guy for today: clerical errors. Thank you very much, we'll be here all week.

Let's look a bit more closely at the details of this missing weapons story. It's not just weapons that are missing, it's body armor and helmets. Body armor? Wasn't there some big hullaballoo about how the troops didn't have body armor and how we went to war with the Army we had and not the Army we wanted? After first trying to deny it, didn't Bush and Rummy promise that the troops would get their body armor? Maybe it wouldn't have taken years and the lives of hundreds of US troops if not for those pesky clerical errors. Damn you logistics!

You know who hasn't had any shortages of weapons and proper protective gear? Private military contractors, otherwise known as mercenaries, soldiers of fortune, hired killers. We're talking the usual suspects like Blackwater, Aegis, and even some boys that we helped train for General Pinochet in Chile.

If the press or the GAO or the Pentagon or any other interested party really gave a damn about this story, they would listen to Page A-26 and look at two possibilities: the guns never existed (which would be nicely covered by Petraeus' little clerical snafu story) or they went directly and free of charge to our shadowy, unregulated, murderous, private contractor proxies (which would give the shadowy, unregulated, murderous profiteers a nice little bump to their profit margin by giving them free weapons). It's almost as good as the free cash that up and vanished while the private military contractors were supposedly guarding it. Anybody seeing a pattern here?

And because no serial numbers were ever recorded, the guns can never, ever, ever, never be located, accounted for, or traced to anybody. How convenient. Maybe the missing guns are with Saddam's missing weapons of mass destruction?

As pressure and embarrassment mount about this story, look for the Cheney neocon-men and the Bush Crime Family to pin the blame on the Iraqis. Also look for lots of stories about how those guns that the Iraqis lost are now being used by "insurgents" against US troops. (Wait, we thought it was Syria and Iran who were supplying the insurgents with weapons and materials? Now we're supposed to believe it's actually the Iraqis who are supplying themselves?)

Anything to steer you away from the thought that a) those guns never existed, or b) they are safely in the hands of whoever it is the Supreme Dick wanted to them to go to, whether that be private contractors, Sunni insurgent groups, or whoever else it is that the US is too embarrassed to admit in public that they're supplying with deadly weapons.

Chances are we'll never know the real truth about this missing guns incident, but there are some things we definitely do know.For example, we know the weapons are unaccounted for, we know money was appropriated for these weapons by the Pentagon and paid to suppliers, but we also know they never made it to the troops. And we know that the lying, corrupt Bush Administration has been in charge of prosecuting every iota of this war from day one.

This incident should mark the tipping point toward impeachment for this Administration. Either they're horribly incompetent and don't deserve to be in charge, or they're horribly corrupt and deserve to be in prison. Come on America, it's one or the other (possibly both).

As Page A-26 said when this story originally broke: missing guns? There's no missing guns.